sarc.

I’m Ruth. A self deprecating 32 year old woman with the body of a hot 22 year old attached to my fridge for constant berating motivation. I have successfully competed and won medals in the sexual Olympics 4 times and my trophies range in ages from my 12 year old son to my 6 year old daughter who has been confirmed as containing 97% of my DNA just by the things that come out of her mouth.

I call myself a writer, but I also called myself Saffron Morgan for a 3 week period in 6th grade so one cannot really assess how accurate that depiction might be. I scored a perfect 3600 on my EATS, which means I can gain a pound in a day if I put my mind to it which is a topic I discuss heavily on this platform.

I’ve been featured on the Ellen show once, Re-tweeted by a dude in Las Vegas who said HAHAHA, and my picture is on the hostess stand of the local Mexican restaurant as a frequent customer who is no longer allowed to write checks.

I love to run and have done so from all of my problems for the past 13 years and have managed to complete 3 half marathons and a whole one where I sneezed out a tampon and didn’t break my stride. This will be on my tombstone.

I’m unemployed but I hold a bachelors degree in something I could have learned on YouTube and took out student loans to obtain for thousands of dollars off the internet. When I was 17 I was my most successful as a nursing student/Paramedic who drove an ambulance like the ones you typically see sitting in the Wendy’s and Taco Bell parking lots. After getting knocked up in a barracks room at the age of 18 I dropped out of college and have pretty much given up on everything except the Monopoly game at McDonalds.

I’ve never been called pretty or successful but I do get called frequently by Bill Collectors and asked for information about my hot single friends. I’m fun at parties and my tolerance for vodka far exceeds my tolerance for people in general.

I love shoes, Supernatural, Gingers, Music, Vodka, Happy Endings, (may you RIP) my kids, make up, running, stuff crust pizzas, cross fit (I cross my fingers every time I try to fit into my jeans) writing, laughing, it’s Britney Bitch, high heels that also double as weapons, and long walks from the parking lot to the inside of most restaurant and fast food establishments.

I re-blog some, I write some, I post my filtered face some, my photography some, the ins and outs of being in a place without an In N Out, and occasionally quotes from some of the most noble men the world has ever known (characters from the aforementioned CW show, Supernatural).

You might say I’m crazy, I might say you’re right, but chances are my music is too loud to give a fuck what you’re saying. If you vote for me I promise to have all the tampon machines turned into doobie dispensers and petition for individual alcohol bottles in the vending machines.

thank you.
Truthful Tuesday this photo is probably one of my favorites of me ever taken it depicts me and who I am so perfectly and 5 months later my life was flipped upside down but that’s still me living for my babies because that’s what I have and always will do.

Truthful Tuesday this photo is probably one of my favorites of me ever taken it depicts me and who I am so perfectly and 5 months later my life was flipped upside down but that’s still me living for my babies because that’s what I have and always will do.

Fiona Apple

—Paper Bag

radtracks:

paper bag // fiona apple

hunger hurts, and i want him so bad, oh, it kills
'cause i know i'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
i got to fold ‘cause these hands are too shaky to hold
hunger hurts but starving works, when it costs too much to love

(via jayywhizzle)

As a child I never heard one woman say to me, “I love my body.” Not my mother, my elder sister, my best friend. No one woman has ever said, “I am so proud of my body.” So I make sure to say it to Mia, because a positive physical outlook has to start at an early age.

—Kate Winslet, speaking about her daughter.  (via thatkindofwoman)

(Source: wrists, via jayywhizzle)

Young the Giant

—Mind Over Matter

Mind over matter
Does it matter to any of us?
Don’t change the subject
I’m heavy on your love

I never ask for good juju but I just applied to a job where you have to dress up and get people to sample booze and that is literally the 2 things I do best in life and it’s part time but really good pay and I can still work the subway job so everyone cross your fingers they give me an interview because I will nail it if they just meet me okay cool thanks.

die you winged spawn of satan.

1. Why is it when someone quits you they feel the need to come back years later realizing they miss you. Course you do fools. Don’t let the door hit cha where I no longer give a shitcha. 

2. The flight doctor thinks I have Plantar Fasciitis from the difference in terrain and the kind of physical activity I’m used to. I’m used to being on all fours or running on a treadmill. Everything else is new territory. Oh well it’s not gonna stop what I’m doing. Nothing will. 

3. I have orientation for my new job this week and my goal is to wow them so much they offer me a better position  before I ever put on a uniform. I know that’s asking a lot. I just need to get through 6 months and then I’m good to go forever. 

4. We saw a sign today that said find what you love and let it kill you and Mia said well I guess we know mommy’s gonna die by shoes and that sounds like the best way to go. Ever. 

5. My fitness app today said I consumed 16000 calories and I realized I entered that I ate 200 Weight Watchers cheese sticks. Dear God don’t give me any ideas.

6. Part 2 is almost ready. I’m debating how much I want to include because some things I will probably never be ready to write about. The good thing is I’m living part 3 right now and I like where it’s headed. 

7. I’m not at all tired but all my shows didn’t record thanks to my cable box being a piece of shit so now I have to find out what happened on my 5 wives because I am obsessed with that show. Don’t ask. 

I don’t know either. 

I’ll be fine As long as I have my torch. 

It’s a rare thing for me to admit I’m happy and blessed because I hate that word but it’s true. It’s taken me moving across the country and losing what I thought was my person to realize I’m my own person. 

I’m not perfect by any means but it’s possible for me to be happy with what I have and be grateful for the life I live every morning when I wake up. My kids are beautiful and funny and fuck it so am I. Beauty is more than a look. It’s a mindset. And I finally have it. 

Weird. I know. Unfollow at will.

It’s a rare thing for me to admit I’m happy and blessed because I hate that word but it’s true. It’s taken me moving across the country and losing what I thought was my person to realize I’m my own person.

I’m not perfect by any means but it’s possible for me to be happy with what I have and be grateful for the life I live every morning when I wake up. My kids are beautiful and funny and fuck it so am I. Beauty is more than a look. It’s a mindset. And I finally have it.

Weird. I know. Unfollow at will.